What do you desire?
Last month, I wrote about “what you really sell.” There’s a related question that is equally important to successful marketing: “What do you really want?” We know marketing is closely related to the buyer’s desire, but we also need to consider the seller’s side of the equation. As an entrepreneur, your desire is an integral part of an authentic marketing approach.
Many of us are afraid of going for—or actually receiving—what we really want. It’s all too easy to get stuck in old stories about the way life has been or what’s possible for us given our circumstances. I encourage you to suspend disbelief at first and think big: it’s not about what already is; it’s about how you want to things to be. When your approach to marketing—and life—is in alignment with your deepest desires, fabulous things happen!
Pursuing your real desires makes it easier to sit down everyday to do your marketing. It feels better to be pulled toward something rather than pushing away something you don’t want. Going after what you really want is exciting and exhilarating. It can feel scary sometimes, but that’s a whole lot better than feeling stuck.
It makes your marketing more effective because your desires are something others can connect to. Desires are made up of longings, aspirations, hopes, values and appetites and are usually about both ourselves and the world we want to be in. When your marketing reflects your desires, it is a bridge between you and potential clients. It takes you out of reporting your service or product’s whats and hows—which don’t actually influence people to purchase—and connects the landscape of you to the landscape of your buyer.
So do you know what you truly want? I’ve never met an entrepreneur who didn’t know on some level what they desire. I’ve met a few who weren’t in touch with their own desires, instead desiring what they thought they “should” want, that is, someone else’s idea or a cultural norm. And I’ve met many who don’t believe that they could or should have what they want, that it’s not practical to pursue, or that articulating it seemed in conflict with something, or someone, else. But with some excavating and patience, desires are always found within.
Naturally, what you want is influenced by external forces. None of us live in a vacuum. We are affected by partners, parents, children, employees, coworkers, landlords, illnesses, accidents, past decisions, circumstances and so much more. But the key to waking up happy each day is believing that your hopes and dreams can be accomplished in concert with these other factors.
We’ve all seen business people who seem to blossom and make moving forward look easy. It seems effortless because these folks tend to be aligned with their work by a singular desire, one they are willing to arrange their personal and professional lives around. As an entrepreneur, your business goals are inevitably intertwined with your personal life, so being in alignment in all areas of your life makes getting the results you want much easier.
Just how do you align with your inner desires?
Clear out inner contradictions.
It’s time to get really honest and see where you’re holding yourself back. When your beliefs and actions contradict one another, you idle in neutral. Have you ever found yourself thinking, for example, “I’d like to make a bigger impact but my current clients really need me”? Once you notice this inner conversation, you can rewrite it. Trust that by making a bigger impact you are actually lighting the way for your current clients. Think Yes! and possibilities present themselves.
Come to know the greater contribution you’re here to make.
Trust me. Nobody is here just to make money. Ask yourself what money gets you in order to find a clue to your desires. For some people, their true desire is freedom, autonomy, ease or choice, while others may yearn to contribute and serve. Then consider what your product or service does to meet the desires of your clients. This way you have both sides of the equation. It’s easier to promote your service or product when you see the win both you and your clients stand to gain.
Develop an attitude of change.
It takes courage to admit what you really want, especially if it means you’ll have to grow and change to get it. You may have to acknowledge that there are parts of your life right now that aren’t working. There may be a gap between what you have and what you desire. Negotiate with your life circumstances. Find ways to say yes instead of maybe. Practice saying and instead of but. For example, if you want to grow your business but believe that you don’t have the time to do so, you’re stuck. Admit to yourself where you are and where you’d like to be. When you embrace that tension and allow yourself to be with the untenable nature of it, new solutions will emerge.
The important thing is to cultivate a belief that what you desire matters, and act as if that’s so. Will it improve your life? I think so! Plus it can make your marketing more authentic, easeful and effective. And just maybe, you’ll get what you really want.